Thursday, December 07, 2006

Kids And Their Damn Shoes

I love kids, I really do. And I actually spend quite a bit of time with kids. I'm sure you noticed how many of my posts have been about neices and nephews and the like. It's almost unnatural how much I end up hanging out with children when you consider I don't actually have any.

Of course, as much as I enjoy these small people, it is difficult to spend so much time around them and not have a few complaints. Right now I'm trying to figure out what is with kids and their damn shoes. They always take them off immediately upon entering the house. Why? The minute a kid steps into my house (which is always before me because I am a nice adult and hold the door for them while they take their time actually getting to the door because they are petting the dog or looking at a shiny rock that has only been in the driveway for YEARS), off come the shoes. A lot of times shoes are kicked off in the entryway just so that I can have the added bonus of tripping over them on my way in the door carrying all of the child's belongings because the child already had 1 hand full and could not possibly carry anything else.

But, it's not the tripping over shoes that irritates me. It's the fact that they are not on the kids feet. I mean, do children assume that walking in the door of my house means they are there to stay for unlimited hours? I am usually a very busy person. I do a tremendous amount of running around. Sometimes, small people are at my house simply because I am actually transporting them elsewhere but I needed to take 10 minutes to check my email. It's amazing how fast shoes can be kicked off, yet nothing at all is fast about the process of putting them back on. First the child has to untie the triple knot they wittingly jumbled their shoelaces into. Then, the socks need to be adjusted for comfort multiple times. Then the foot is placed into the shoe, but not correctly because the child is too busy staring at the cartoons I never said they could turn on. And then finally, even though the shoes were previously in triple knots, the little people can't figure out how to tie even a single knot that will actually stay.

Still, all of this is not the main thing that irritates me. It's just that I don't understand why they think I might not need something. I mean, I don't take my shoes off until it's pajama time because I know I may need to go outside and smoke a cigarette to escape the kid. Or I may decide I don't want to cook dinner so I need to run into town to grab us some hamburgers. Whatever may come up, I am prepared for immediate flight because I have my shoes on.

Just the other day, I was sitting in the recliner with my shoes on like a responsible adult and decided I needed Cordell to go to my car for me and find an item I desperately needed at the time. But of course, the kid had no shoes on AND he was watching cartoons. Sheesh! It took him 10 minutes to get all his stuff together just so he could go 20 feet out the door and fetch my purse for me from my front seat. And as soon as he came in (act surprised) he took his shoes off. By the time I finally got my purse I could have made 17 trips back & forth to my car. Maybe I should keep several pairs of kid-sized slip-on houseshoes in the living room so that I won't have to be so inconvenienced next time.

Silly Kids! (I still love them)

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