Friday, August 31, 2007

Bizarre Dream

I often have very colorful, graphic, detailed dreams that are completely bizarre. But the dream I had last night is still haunting me, so I thought I would share it with you. It involves some blood and a human parasite, so if your squeamish this serves as your warning to stop reading.

Okay, here's the dream (in a nutshell):

stuff happens, things are seen...I don't really remember how the dream began exactly. But suddenly I find myself walking along talking to my cousin Sabrina. We are walking down the highway on a beautiful sunny day and when I reach down to admire a flower alongside the road, I notice there is a hole in my left arm. More specifically, I notice that on the underside of my wrist there is a hole approximately the size of the tip of an ink pen. It is closer to my palm than my elbow, probably a 1/2 inch away from being under my watchband.

It doesn't hurt, there's no blood. I bring my arm up to my face and ponder how the hole got there. While inspecting it, I see a flash of movement inside and then what looks like the end of a maggot appears in the hole for a brief second and then disappears back into my arm. Well, since my cousin Sabrina works in a doctor's office she is our resident medical expert. I called her over to examine this mysterious hole and ask her opinion on whether or not I have a maggot in there and what I should do about it. While she's examining the hole, we see movement inside my arm again and a ripple goes up my flesh to my elbow.

Sabrina's medical decision was that whatever was in there needed to come out. So, she handed me a pair of tweezers and the next time I saw the tip of the thing coming out of the hole, I grabbed hold and pulled. What came out was some sort of worm the length and thickness of a marker or highlighter. The whole thing was covered in slime like a slug.The white thing that looked like a maggot was apparently it's tongue? Anyway, I could see every detail of how my flesh expanded around this huge worm as I pulled it through this tiny hole. But still there was no pain and no blood.

Suddenly I was standing in a grocery store with Sabrina so she grabbed a plastic produce bag to put the worm in so we could take it to the lab (?) and let someone examine it. We got the worm contained and were heading for the door when suddenly the hole in my arm (which had remained the size of the tip of an ink pen even though a huge worm came through it) started spurting blood in a major way. I covered it with my right hand but blood is just running and dripping through my fingers like crazy. In just a few seconds I have already made a puddle in the floor and people around us are starting to freak out. Sabrina removed my hand from the wound to see if she could sort of plug it up with the gauze that somehow magically appeared in her hand.

When she moved my hand and started wiping the blood away we noticed that the hole was getting bigger. It was growing in size as we watched it and when it got to about the size of a quarter, it stopped expanding. I could now see clearly down into my arm and the blood had stopped. (makes sense doesn't it?) The weird thing was I did not see any muscle or tissue. As I gazed into this hole down into my arm, all I saw was the bone and another huge worm lying underneath the bone wiggling around and flicking it's tongue. Sabrina screamed "Get It" and she grabbed the tweezers and plucked the worm from its spot. She placed it in the bag with the first one and that's all I remember from the dream.

Yep, I have strange dreams. Constantly. I've heard rumors that Stephen King gets his book ideas from his dreams. Sure wish I had the ablility to do what he does.

Monday, August 27, 2007

My Men

Here's a list of the newest men in my life. I didn't do that badly.

Matt Hasselbeck QB
Shaun Alexander RB
Kevin Jones RB
Reggie Brown WR
Steve Smith WR
Hines Ward WR
Jeremy Shockey TE
Chad Pennington QB
Jaguar’s defense
Matt Stover K

Rex Grossman QB
DeShaun Foster RB
Steelers’ defense
Michael Turner RB
Jason Elam K
Joe Horn WR
Kellen Clemens QB
Jeff Reed K

Friday, August 24, 2007

Let The Games Begin!

Tonight, at Buffalo Wild Wings, my fantasy football team is doing their live draft. I am so freaking excited. Last year was the first time I ever participated in fantasy football and i wasn't sure if I was gonna like it or not. But, it actually helped keep me excited about football all through the season no matter how badly my poor KC Chiefs were doing.

So, I have been itching for the new season to start. And now that the draft time is almost here, I'm actually nervous about the picks I may get. Hopefully I will end up a little better off than I was last year. I swear every good player I drafted before ended up injured. There were several weeks when I had 4 or 5 players out with injuries. So, wish me luck.

I will happily announce all of my good grabs later on.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Which Way To The Lost & Found?

My brain is mushy. What causes that? By mushy, I mean totally unfocused and lacking any of its former powers. You know, like the power to accept and retain information or the ability to be entertaining. Cause those things seem to be beyond my capabilities these days. The soft and squishy brain may be alright to cuddle with in bed at night, but I am beginning to be annoyed by it during my awake times.

And this is not a new development. That may be the saddest part of the tale. My brain has been getting mushy for a very long time, and I have been aware of it all along. But, I’m finally to the point where it needs to stop. See, I believe I know what one of the main causes was. There was something going on in my life which was demanding all of my time and attention and would not allow me any time to use my brain for my own endeavors. So, it grew weaker and weaker and weaker. But, that over-demanding something is lessening its grip on me and I’m seeing a small glimmer of hope that I may save my brain and return it to its former glory.

But what I’m discovering is that as my gray matter diminished, one of the things it released its hold on to make room for the ever-increasing mush was my personality. Somewhere, wandering lost and alone by itself, is my personality. And I don’t know how to track it down. It really has left me feeling pretty crappy about myself. My personality loves to read, do crosswords, memorize song lyrics, make annoying wise-cracks at the most inopportune times, join in conversations with people, play trivial pursuit, keep a big group of friends, etc. Without it I am completely boring. Trust me. Completely. Boring.

I know this all sounds sorta weird, but it is nonetheless true. Every once in a great while I see flashes of my personality and can reach out and grasp a funny comment or two, but most of the time I’m just left with the mush in my brain and a frustration with being socially inept. Someone please help me find it. Tell me how to bully my brain back into shape and teach me how to regain my focus. I want my social abilities back, but I’ve been badgered into submission so often I’m afraid they may not return to me. Are there vitamins I can take? Should I do sudoku puzzles as exercise? Please advise.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Why Can't I Do This?

He just used MS Paint to paint the Mona Lisa. Incredible.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Day Shift Is Killing Me

Well, on Monday I finally got to transition to my new shift at work. I have been so excited about the new hours and getting weekends off that I wasn't even thinking about how the details of my job might change. I'm still performing the same job function, but holy crap has my world changed. I was totally confident on my overnight shift. Any call that came in, I knew exactly how to handle it.

Not so much anymore. Now every call that comes in just puts me into panic mode. There are clinics calling in with issues that I've never heard of because they weren't open during my old hours. The hospitals are fully-staffed instead of just partially-staffed and all of the administrative personnel are calling in with problems relating to human resources or accounting, etc. This is crap I am not familiar with. The call volume is heavy, I knew it would be. There are a hundred times more people working now than there are overnight. But because we stay so busy, I don't have the time to put people on hold and ask my co-workers how to do things they have been doing in their sleep for years. They are on their own phone calls, doing their own work.

Don't get me wrong, everyone here has been very helpful and they do take the time to answer my questions. They keep telling me they don't expect me to be able to hit the ground running. But I'm not someone who enjoys feeling like a moron. I hate not knowing what to do or how to do it. Any problems we can't fix over the phone we create tickets for and assign them to specialized teams. The number of tickets we create versus the number of calls we fix without tickets is tracked and used to evaluate how we do our jobs. And I'm creating tickets right and left. It's crazy how I went from creating 5 or 6 tickets during my 10 hour overnight shift, to creating more than that every hour.

Everyone, boss included, keeps telling me not to worry. It's natural to need some time to adjust to the differences. They assure me that after a few weeks my number of tickets created will diminish and I will gain my confidence back. But right now that's hard to believe. I feel like I'm just totally worthless to them. And I hate that feeling.

But, I have Friday and Saturday nights off now - so I guess it's all worth it in the end.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Holy Bat Smoke, Batman!

Looks like one of the world's biggest toy manufacturers is having a bit of a rough spell. Just a few short hours ago, Mattel issued a massive recall of over 9 million Chinese-made toys because of the use of lead paint and tiny magnets (swallow danger).
Some of the more popular toys included in the recall are Batman action figures and Polly Pocket play sets. It's the Polly Pocket items that make up the majority of the recall with 7.3 million Polly Pocket dolls and accessories being included.

Check out more details HERE for specific item identifications.

Monday, August 13, 2007

10 Movies To Reconsider From 2007

I found a great article earlier today on MSN that lists 10 movies from this year which are already out on DVD and didn't get the attention they deserved in theaters.

Here's the article for brief reviews of the films
and here are the movies in alphabetical order:
1. The Astronaut Farmer
2. Black Snake Moan
3. Breach
4. Candy
5. Diggers
6. The Host
7. Hot Fuzz
8. Inland Empire
9. Old Joy
10. Zodiac


On Friday I got to watch a guy demolish an old dental office single-handedly. The building was in part of the St. John's parking lot where I always park. I didn't have my digital camera with me, so I just watched him pull up to the building and start scooping down through the roof sending shattered wood and sheetrock and rubble everywhere. He just kept advancing and driving through interior walls in a cloud of dust and splinters. It was actually really cool to watch.

When I was there on Saturday morning, the same guy was using the same machine to scoop up debris and clean up the remains of the building he destroyed. Once again, I did not have my camera on me (*note to self: keep your damn camera with you!) But this time around, I remembered I had a camera on my cell phone (razor's rule) so I snapped a quick pic. I wish I had thought of that yesterday.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Why Do People Go Camping In August?

Seriously, why? It's the hottest month of the year (at least it is here in Missouri) and people actually drive away from their air conditioned homes to spend the night in a canvas tent sleeping on the ground. It's fricking insane - canvas is not a material that breathes! As if it wouldn't be hot enough just being outdoors, you are actually sleeping in an enclosure that collects heat during the day and than traps it so that it cannot escape.

I know, I know, some of you are mumbling under your breath that most tents these days have plenty of mesh doors and windows that allow air to circulate. But, while it may be true that mesh doors and windows exist, that doesn't mean air will circulate. Think about it, for one thing heat rises - which means not all of it will willingly escape through said windows and doors. Secondly, you generally setup a tent in one of the following locations: amongst the trees in a forest, near a creek or river in a valley, or in a campground surrounded by hundreds of campers who have fires lit. How big of a continual breeze do you really get. There's no way enough air is circulating through your pathetic mesh windows to actually cool the tent back down to the surrounding temperature. It's gonna naturally be several degrees warmer in there than it is outside. Because. it's. a. tent.

If you're wondering why I'm bringing any of this up, it's because a week ago I went camping. And slept in a tent. In August. Willingly. Ugh!

Needless to say, I did not sleep well. I get hot at home when the thermostat is set on a permanent 68 degrees. And I run a fan on medium speed all night. And I still wake up sweaty. Because I apparently overheat in my sleep. What causes that? I can sit on my butt on the couch all day long and be completely comfortable. But 2 seconds after I have gone to bed (sans blankie even) I am burning up. I can feel my temperature rising. My face gets flushed and the sweating starts immediately.

However, comfortable sleeping arrangements was not the point of my trip. I got to go camping with my dad, brother Scott, sister Wendy, neice Emma and nephews Marshall & Dillon. Despite the heat, we had a great time. We spent the night on the peak of Taum Sauk mountain, explored Elephant Rocks State Park for a couple of hours, and let the boys go swimming at Johnson's Shut-Ins. Below are a few pictures:

Dad & the kids

This one's for my homies

Brother & Sister

King of the hill

Top of Taum Sauk

View from the mountain


Saturday, August 11, 2007

"Please" by STAIND

for Jordi

Can't you see that I'm sick of this?
Chances are you're oblivious to how I feel
Sitting on your throne, and I'm sure that I'm not alone,
Not alone, not alone.

Tell me please,
Who the f**k did you want me to be?
Was it something that I couldn't see?
Never knew this would be so political.
And please, I'm still wearing this miserable skin
And it's starting to tear from within
But it's obvious that doesn't bother you, so please

I didn't think that you'd sell me out
Now I know what you're all about.
You might feel in control of things.
But you're not holding all the strings.
All the strings, all the strings.

Tell me please,
Who the f**k did you want me to be?
Was it something that I couldn't see?
Never knew this would be so political.
And please, I'm still wearing this miserable skin
And it's starting to tear from within
But it's obvious that doesn't matter to you,
So please

I've swallowed all your answers
I've swallowed all my pride
You've used up all your chances
Can't keep this all inside

Tell me please,
Who the f**k did you want me to be?
Was it something that I couldn't see?
Never knew this would be so political.
And please, I'm still wearing this miserable skin
And it's starting to tear from within
But it's obvious that doesn't bother you

So please don't keep telling me that it's ok
I don't buy all the sh*t that you say
And quite honestly I'm f**king sick of it
so please if I cut off this nose from my face
Then I wouldn't feel so out of place
But it still wouldn't be quite enough for you,
so please.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Today Is The Anniversary Of...

...The Battle of Wilson's Creek, the first major Civil War battle west of the Mississippi River.

On this morning, in 1861, General Nathaniel Lyon led his Union troops out of Springfield, MO and into a pre-dawn attack on the Confederate troops which were camped at nearby Wilson's Creek. The Confederates had been advancing towards Springfield intent on securing southwest Missouri for the southern states. The Union's surprise attack caused the Confederates to panic and begin retreating from the area, but they soon got their wits about them and marched back towards Lyon's men.

The Union troops were outnumbered nearly 2 to 1 and after several hours of fighting in the extreme heat and humidity, the Union soldiers retreated back to Springfield. They were disorganized and low on ammunition. They had also lost their leader. General Lyon had been injured twice and then killed on "Bloody Hill" during the conflict. He was the first Union General to be killed in the Civil War.

1821 - Missouri is recognized as the 24th state and is the first official state located entirely west of the Mississippi River.

1977 - "Son of Sam" serial killer, David Berkowitz, is arrested in New York.

1949 - The Department of Defense is established when President Harry Truman signs the National Security Bill

1981 - The severed head of six-year-old Adam Walsh is found in a canal in Vera Beach, Florida.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Coming Soon...

Please, do not panic! I will be updating this blog very soon and my updates will once again become more regular. Actually, they may even be more frequent than they ever have been. Wouldn't that be a pleasant change?

Anyway, for the past couple of weeks I have been training my replacement at work so that she can take over the 3rd shift slot and I can finally move to my distorted day shift slot. Needless to say, I've been very busy at work going over everything with her. And even when there's some downtime, I have someone sitting beside me and looking over my shoulder while trying to chat with me. So, I just haven't had anytime to surf the net at work. And there's been a lot of stuff going on outside of work so I just haven't had the time to sit down at home and play on the web.

But that is all going to change! I'm pretty sure I will be able to start my new shift on this-coming Monday. Woo Hoo! I hope I like it as much as I think I will. Of course, I am nervous about the difference in the work that gets done on days compared to the 3rd shift work. I hope I'm not too slow and stupid while I'm learning all of my new stuff.

But, I digress. The point of this post was to assure you that there will be an update this week. And it should be a good one because last Saturday I went camping with my dad and some of my siblings. We checked out Elephant Rocks and Johnson's Shut-Ins and I have some awesome pictures to share. So, keep checking back.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Yar, Matey!

Guess where me & Josh ate the other day....betcha can't guess!!!