Thank you for allowing me to share your house with you. It's a beautiful house and is not even a year old yet. So fresh. So new looking. With white walls and cream carpet. Unscarred countertops, glistening appliances. I really appreciate how lucky I am to be living there. Everything is so shiny.
But, I'm afraid that will all soon change. I regret to inform you that I will no longer be doing the necessary housework that is required to keep a brand new house looking so...well...new. I realize I never have actually done as much housework as I should have, but I have managed to keep up the appearance of clean. Sadly, that is no longer going to be true.
I'm sorry, dear roommate but your house will no longer get the attention it needs from me. You have no one to blame but yourself - for it was you who introduced me to World of Warcraft. I will no longer be leaving my computer aside from bathroom breaks and occasionally going to work.