Yesterday, I stopped into a convenience store for the sole purpose of getting myself a fountain drink. I specify that so you will be able to picture me walking into the store and heading straight over to the soda fountain. No pauses, no distractions. Straight to the soda fountain. I didn't even pause to gaze longingly at the donuts. Seriously. I'm very proud of myself.
Once I arrived directly in front of the machine I did pause for a few seconds to make sure they have Diet Pepsi and to decide how monsterous I want my cup to be. Keep in mind that I was NOT standing with my belly pushed up against the counter. I was actually about an arm's length away. I find it's easier to manuever that way. Maybe I'm crazy. If I were bellied up too close I would have to lean back just to get the cup filled up.
Can you see me there? Just getting ready to reach out and grab a cup? Now picture a big, sweaty, unattractive man wearing a bandanna headband and a muscle shirt suddenly appear next to me. Before I even registered he was there, he was between me and the soda fountain and was filling a cup. Never looked towards me or acknowledged my existance in any way. And when he was finished getting his drink he just stepped away and was gone. This is the sort of thing that happens to me all the time. In fact, after I finally got my own soda and paid for it I was following a couple of blokes out the door and they didn't even hold it open and make sure I cleared it. Just let it slam against me as I was halfway out.
I've always just kind of shook my head and wondered why I inevitabley seem to find the rude people. But I'm starting to think it's my fault as much as theirs. I just seem to be one of those people who blend in with my surroundings and don't really stand out for any reason. Maybe the sweaty guy wasn't being rude and cutting in front of me yesterday. Maybe he didn't notice me. I never speak up for myself. It might have made a difference if I would have said "excuse me sir, I was here first". Although who really says things like that? Honestly. I mean, I know there are people who will speak up. But about something so petty as getting a fountain drink? Doubtful. Except for the assholes of the world, of course. But my point is, I do try to stay out of peoples ways and I am a very quiet person. I'm always mindful of politeness and manners and I make sure and avoid any type of confrontation. I know I am very easy to overlook because even my own mother talks over my every sentence, as if she isn't even aware I'm speaking at all. It's been happening my whole life. So is it my fault? Do I need to wear obnoxiously bright colors and START SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS? Or are there just way too many rude people in the world?