Well, I'm finding myself struggling with my attempt to lose weight and get healthy. It's so frustrating because I'm the one who's miserable and I'm the one who decided I desperately want to change, yet I'm the one who is too lazy to do any exercise and has started giving in to my food cravings again. I guess it's just not in me to change. I don't know.
Most people who have successfully lost a large amount of weight always talk about that "moment" that became their turning point. It's usually some sort of embarassing thing that happened, or something they realized they can no longer do because of their weight. But trust me, I've had hundreds of those moments. I'm embarassed daily. I constantly find stuff I'm afraid to do or places I'm afraid to go because of the fact that I'm morbidly obese. I've reached the turning point so many times. And then 2 weeks later I'm back to my old habits.
I'm 37 years old. It's ridiculous. I want to get married and have babies and I know I'm running out of time. But do I have the willpower to change my life? No! I see older women that are obese who are using canes and wheelchairs. I see others that can barely walk, can barely get out of their chairs or their cars. And I know that if I don't lose half my body weight, I will be just like that in no time. But here I am struggling. And not even struggling with a diet, because I purposely didn't start one. I can't even handle trying to keep myself from eating after 9:00 pm or make myself spend 10 frickin minutes a day actually moving.
You know what? Screw it. I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. I'm just gonna spit it out there. I weigh 320 pounds. Please, somebody ridicule me enough to get me back on track.