My brain is mushy. What causes that? By mushy, I mean totally unfocused and lacking any of its former powers. You know, like the power to accept and retain information or the ability to be entertaining. Cause those things seem to be beyond my capabilities these days. The soft and squishy brain may be alright to cuddle with in bed at night, but I am beginning to be annoyed by it during my awake times.
And this is not a new development. That may be the saddest part of the tale. My brain has been getting mushy for a very long time, and I have been aware of it all along. But, I’m finally to the point where it needs to stop. See, I believe I know what one of the main causes was. There was something going on in my life which was demanding all of my time and attention and would not allow me any time to use my brain for my own endeavors. So, it grew weaker and weaker and weaker. But, that over-demanding something is lessening its grip on me and I’m seeing a small glimmer of hope that I may save my brain and return it to its former glory.
But what I’m discovering is that as my gray matter diminished, one of the things it released its hold on to make room for the ever-increasing mush was my personality. Somewhere, wandering lost and alone by itself, is my personality. And I don’t know how to track it down. It really has left me feeling pretty crappy about myself. My personality loves to read, do crosswords, memorize song lyrics, make annoying wise-cracks at the most inopportune times, join in conversations with people, play trivial pursuit, keep a big group of friends, etc. Without it I am completely boring. Trust me. Completely. Boring.
I know this all sounds sorta weird, but it is nonetheless true. Every once in a great while I see flashes of my personality and can reach out and grasp a funny comment or two, but most of the time I’m just left with the mush in my brain and a frustration with being socially inept. Someone please help me find it. Tell me how to bully my brain back into shape and teach me how to regain my focus. I want my social abilities back, but I’ve been badgered into submission so often I’m afraid they may not return to me. Are there vitamins I can take? Should I do sudoku puzzles as exercise? Please advise.