I’m having a dilemma. A blogging dilemma. I want to use this blog as a place where I can just say what’s in my heart and what’s on my mind as a way of releasing my worries and frustrations, etc. I like that if I did use my blog for that purpose, random strangers from across the interwebz can leave me comments and offer me advice, or sympathy, or simply tell me I’m stupid for worrying about such trivial things. I think that would be a great service to me; it would help me see things from a fresh perspective if I got this sort of honest feedback from people who don’t know me enough to worry about offending me or hurting my feelings.
Unfortunately, as soon as I made my first post several years ago I decided to tell all of my family and friends “please check out my blog”. And several of them do - which immediately meant I am not able to use it as a place to tell the world about any doubts or worries I’m having about my family and/or friends. Because they might read it. And be offended. Or have their feelings hurt. And that would suck…. a lot.
So naturally, I do not use this blog as a place to get things off my chest. I’ve convinced myself that’s okay because I truly do not want the people I love reading something here that may upset them. But lately, I’ve actually been considering inventing an alter ego for myself and starting a new blog that my family doesn’t know about. And the more I consider it, the more it bothers me to realize how I’m censoring myself here on my own blog. It’s not like I am looking for a place to trash talk anyone. I have no need to post anything horrible here, would never say anything like “so and so is such a dirty whore” or “I wish so and so would never speak to me again”. I simply don’t have those kinds of thoughts. But there are times when I want to whine about how I wish someone would make better decisions, or I had my feelings hurt because so and so did “this” to me, etc. And I’m afraid to post those types of things here even though I desperately want to.
So what’s your opinion internet? Should I just suck it up, say what’s on my mind and have enough faith in myself, my family and my friends that nothing I post will cause a serious issue? Or should I start a new anonymous blog and not share the web address with everyone I know? Or is it completely wrong of me to want to get things off my chest in this manner?
5 comments:
I have the same problem. I would recommend one of two options:
1) You start a new blog and maybe put it in your sig on undergroundozarks or something. That way you would get some exposure and feedback, but not from the fam or RL friends. Use Facebook for family-friendly stuffs.
2) Keep using your blog. Be a bit more bold about things you say, but still reserve a bit. Personally, I think practicing censoring yourself is part of making yourself a better person. EVERYONE has thoughts they shouldn't share. It's normal. Don't worry TOO much about offending people that read. I've said things on my blog that offended you and you still live with me :)
It's all about balance.
Not finding the right balance is what scares me. As you know, even if I don't like someone, I want them to think I'm the nicest person they've ever met. I've always worried too much about peoples opinions of me. Which is why I've been thinking of finding a new outlet. I'm overly-sensitive. Even though you know I can let out a good curse word or two, I'm afraid to use them on this blog in case there's some stranger out there who doesn't like people who use foul language. That's when it becomes less about censoring myself and more about denying who I truly am. Know what I mean?
You are lucky. When I started my blog, I assumed the only people who would read it would be my friends and family. After all, total strangers wouldn't be interested in my lame jokes and lousy puns, right? Well it's just the opposite. My family and friends don't care at all about my blog. They can't be bothered. I have loyal readers all across the U.S. and even overseas, though. Perhaps I could get my family to tune in if I wrote specifically about them!
I say make an anonymous blog and let your feelings fly. Be sure to send me the link when you do...
Will do Jason. And for the record, I love your Top 10. :)
Dam hard decision. Be who you are. Speak. There is a peace in being able to be "human".
Speak your truth, if you dare, and live with it.
Can you live with the alternative?
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