I’m having a dilemma. A blogging dilemma. I want to use this blog as a place where I can just say what’s in my heart and what’s on my mind as a way of releasing my worries and frustrations, etc. I like that if I did use my blog for that purpose, random strangers from across the interwebz can leave me comments and offer me advice, or sympathy, or simply tell me I’m stupid for worrying about such trivial things. I think that would be a great service to me; it would help me see things from a fresh perspective if I got this sort of honest feedback from people who don’t know me enough to worry about offending me or hurting my feelings.
Unfortunately, as soon as I made my first post several years ago I decided to tell all of my family and friends “please check out my blog”. And several of them do - which immediately meant I am not able to use it as a place to tell the world about any doubts or worries I’m having about my family and/or friends. Because they might read it. And be offended. Or have their feelings hurt. And that would suck…. a lot.
So naturally, I do not use this blog as a place to get things off my chest. I’ve convinced myself that’s okay because I truly do not want the people I love reading something here that may upset them. But lately, I’ve actually been considering inventing an alter ego for myself and starting a new blog that my family doesn’t know about. And the more I consider it, the more it bothers me to realize how I’m censoring myself here on my own blog. It’s not like I am looking for a place to trash talk anyone. I have no need to post anything horrible here, would never say anything like “so and so is such a dirty whore” or “I wish so and so would never speak to me again”. I simply don’t have those kinds of thoughts. But there are times when I want to whine about how I wish someone would make better decisions, or I had my feelings hurt because so and so did “this” to me, etc. And I’m afraid to post those types of things here even though I desperately want to.
So what’s your opinion internet? Should I just suck it up, say what’s on my mind and have enough faith in myself, my family and my friends that nothing I post will cause a serious issue? Or should I start a new anonymous blog and not share the web address with everyone I know? Or is it completely wrong of me to want to get things off my chest in this manner?