A Thank You For An Old Friend

On August 23, 1988 I met Lisa for the first time. I was 17 years old and had just moved into my new dorm room at college. It was the first time I had ever really been away from home. I was an overweight teen with low self-esteem, had lived a fairly sheltered life with few social engagements outside of school hours, was naive & extremely timid. Lisa, on the other hand, was 5 years older than me and already had plenty of life experiences. She was outgoing, confident & vibrant with the greatest sense of humor. And she was determined to force me to talk to her that day. Her family had just dropped her off at the dorms and left....and it was her birthday. Suffice it to say, we became fast friends. I absolutely idolized her because she was everything I always wanted to be.

After the first few weeks, I began going home with her to her parent's house about 4 out of every 5 weekends instead of going to see my parents. I became very comfortable at their house and was quickly treated as part of the family. Being exposed to the dynamics of a family that was so different than mine was amazing. I knew that my parents loved me, but the atmosphere around my family home was basically formal. Kids were to be seen and not heard, etc. Between my new exposure to a family that loved to talk and have fun together and everything I experienced while hanging with Lisa, Brandon and our other friends from college, my basically blank personality got a chance to develop itself. At the time I didn't realize how much of an impact Lisa was having on my life. We were in college together for 2 years and then kept in touch with visits afterwards for years. I started getting less of a chance to visit as the years went by because I was living and working hours away. Lisa eventually married and had 2 kids and I was able to see them a few times while they were both little, but eventually we fell completely out of touch due to some major crap going on in my life. The last time I remember seeing her or any of her family was the winter of 96. But 2 years ago I accepted a job about 20 minutes away from the town where Lisa and her family still live. I thought about her often, but hadn't tracked her down yet.

Then a couple of weeks ago, while at my company picnic, I recognized Lisa's mom standing across a crowded room. I almost talked myself into passing by and pretending not to see her, but luckily I chose to step in front of her and get her attention. We talked for a few and she seemed very excited to see me. In fact, she pulled out her cell phone and called Lisa so I could talk to her immediately. Hearing her voice after 12 years was crazy. She sounded exactly the same and was able to recognize my voice without me telling her who I was. We exchanged cell phone numbers but were both busy at the moment of our chance encounter, so Lisa said she would call me over the weekend. A few days later we talked for a bit and she invited me to meet her and her sister and their husbands at the bowling alley. I had wondered all week how different they may be. What would they look like? Now that we're all old, would they act old & stuffy? Would they be all prim and proper instead of the wise-cracking, foul-mouthed people I loved? But all my worrying was for nothing. Age hadn't changed anything. It was amazing seeing them and I immediately discovered that I still felt completely comfortable around them. But the best surprise was yet to come.

A week later I was invited out to see her house and do some more catching up. Lisa & Larry showed me around the house and land and Larry bbq'd some kabobs while we visited. They are still an extremely close family, so by the end of the night her kids had gotten home, her sister and one of her nieces came over and her mom was there. Everyone was in the kitchen and they all fell into the old routine I had seen so often 20 years ago. Teasing each other, laughing, high-fiving, everyone talking at once, complete chaos. I had to take a step back because I suddenly become overwhelmed with emotions. I looked around and watched all the different interactions. Lisa's kids act exactly the way I expected them to and Lisa is exactly the type of parent I expected her to be. I know it probably sounds weird, but for the first time in a long time I felt at home. And that's the moment I first realized how much influence Lisa and her family had on the person I am today. The humor and affection they so freely shared with me all those years ago helped transform me from a timid, naive 17 year old into someone who loves to be surrounded by fun and strives to show her friends and family how much she cares about them. I should have thanked her years ago, I just never realized. But better late than never - Lisa, I want to thank you & Shelly and your parents for everything you guys have ever done for me, even when you didn't realize you were doing anything. I love you all and I hope we don't have a 12 year gap ever again.

Creepy....Yet Cool

Click on the picture to read the article associated with it.

My Favorite Time of Year

Yay! It's finally October, my favorite month of the year. The weather is awesome. There's a crispness in the air that makes me just happy to be alive. The trees are turning colors and looking beautiful. Arts & Crafts Fairs and festivals abound. And most importantly - Halloween is on the way. It's my favorite of all the holidays. I love horror movies, costumes, jack-o-lanterns, witches, and everything else associated with it. This year I have plans to spend Halloween night watching scary movies with a good friend of mine. We're going to eat Halloween themed junk food and sit on the couch all night in our costumes. That way, when little kids ring her doorbell for trick-or-treating we can freak them out.

This weekend is Mt. Vernon's Apple Butter Making Days. I will be there bright and early Saturday morning. Hope to see you there.

Tribute to Miyuki

Our kitty Miyuki is being euthanized tonight. She has always been a sickly kitty and about a week ago she had a very minor seizure. Then again last night she had another seizure. This one was very violent and she did not recover from it very well at all so Scott stayed home with her to take her to the vet (it's technically his kitty, but I loved her as my own). Before they got to the vet I guess she had another seizure. Vet kept her and said he would call later. He just called. Miyuki has luekemia. She won't be coming home. I'm just glad I made sure I loved on her before I went to work this morning. I had no idea she wouldn't return. She was 4 months old this week.

Here's some pictures of our precious little girl.

Wordless Wednesday

The Return of Britney

In the archives of this blog you will find at least 3 posts that pertain to Britney Spears. But this post will be the first one in which I actually have something positive to say. We have all watched Britney fall to pieces over the last few years and slowly destroy her career and family (and nearly her life). Finally, at the beginning of this year, she was diagnosed with a psychological disorder and began a proper treatment. The past several months have been filled with rumors of her progress. I don't consider myself a Britney fanatic, though I do enjoy her music if if happens to be on. But I have been anxiously waiting for the MTV Video Music Awards to see if she's really better. For her sake and for her children's sake, I was hoping she could overcome her illness.

Tonight was the night of the award show. MTV had been airing teaser commercials featuring the show's host, Russell Brand, and Britney. Then rumors started flying that Brit would open the show. And she did. The show opened with a skit featuring Britney and Jonah Hill (from Superbad) and even though the skit wasn't that funny - those MTV writers aren't always as clever as they think they are - I was immediately thrilled to see that Brit appears to be doing great. She not only looked hot and has gotten back in shape, but there was a clearness in her eyes that I hadn't seen there in at least 4 years. She seemed genuinely amused with being there, she had an air of elegance about her. I don't know how to explain it, can't quite find the words, but there was just something about seeing her tonight which makes me believe that she has completely turned her life back around. She apparently has a new song out called "Pieces of Me" that was released a couple of months ago. Strangely I don't think I've heard it yet, not sure it's getting any airtime at the moment on the local stations here in Springfield. But the video won 3 awards and Britney accepted each award with grace and sincerity. I was glad to see it.

I'm proud of you Britney for surviving the bad times. I hope your health continues to improve and you can regain your relationship with your children and family.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

I have decided that every Wednesday will now be "Wordless Wednesday". Which means that I will now simply post a random picture that I have personally taken and no words will be included in the post(aside from this particular Wednesday where I have to explain what "Wordless Wednesday" means). The pictures I choose will hopefully spark some sort of emotion all on their own - whether it's laughter, curiousity, sadness, etc.

So, ignore all these words. Let's post the first picture.

It's A Boy!

My youngest sister is pregnant with her first child and yesterday during an ultrasound she finally learned the sex of the baby. It's a boy! I didn't really care either way. I couldn't be more excited if it were a whole litter of kittens. I just love babies and I can't wait for my new little nephew to get here. I've already named him JD. Isn't that cute? Of course his mom & dad haven't named him yet, but I'm sure they will grow to like the name I have decided on. And now that we know it's a boy, I can stop buying yellow blankets and white onesies and get down to some serious shopping for the little tike. OMG! Now I can go buy baby shoes. He is totally getting a pair of newborn Nike's.

Melissa had good timing because I've been working at my "super awesome" job where I earn a good paycheck for the past 2 years. The 2 nieces and 3 nephews I already have were born during my years of working at a "crappy sucky" job where I barely made enough money to feed myself. So I wasn't able to buy as much when the babies were born. But I've already got a huge storage container setup in the closet of the spare bedroom so that I can start buying items slowly and saving them all up for the baby shower we will be having. JD isn't due until late December (Christmas baby!) so I've got plenty of time to buy some cute little outfits.

"Closer" by Ne-Yo

This is my current favorite song - turn it up!

OMG, I'm Old

I'm starting to feel old. Plus I'm single and have no kids and I can no longer deny that I probably will never have kids. I'm approaching my 38th birthday, so time is running out. On top of that, I have issues related to poor health which are likely to cause me to have trouble conceiving a child to begin with. It just doesn't look like it's going to happen. I can accept that. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have my own child. But if I never get that chance I know I will be fine. For one thing, I have already decided that I want to be a foster parent - as soon as I get my finances to the point where I am able to support myself in my own place without a roommate.

Realizing I am getting old, combined with the recent decline and passing of my grandpa, have gotten me to a point where I'm feeling very sentimental and loving. I want to just pull everyone in close to me and spend as much time with my family as possible. Not just time, but quality time. I want to be all mushy and cheesy and tell everyone I love them every 5 minutes. I desire hugs.

So it really sucks that I have noticed myself becoming a cranky, nagging butthead. I seem to have lost control of my mouth completely. You know you've got to be irritating everyone else when you actually irritate yourself. I find myself venting to family members about what other family members do that frustrate me. NOT COOL. And for some reason I keep sticking my nose into business that does not concern me, such as what everyone elses kids are doing. NOT COOL. It's like I think everyone should raise their children by my morals and standards. But there are several things wrong with this: a) I don't have any children so I have no experience in raising any b) not everyone has the same morals and standards as everyone else, but that doesn't make them wrong c) each child has a different personality and has to be handled differently to a certain degree d) they are not my kids so as long as they are not doing something that will hurt them or someone else - it's none of my business.

I don't know why these things have become an issue with me. I'm not someone whose unhappy or depressed. I don't even get frustrated very often. It's just that I seem to be suffering from sudden (thankfully short) bursts of crankiness that result in me popping off at the mouth and then 10 seconds later being apalled by what I just said. And embarassed about it, sorry for it, etc. Maybe it's simply stress from everything that's been happening. Maybe it's because my best friends are my cousins and siblings instead of someone outside the family and I have held in stuff that I should have been venting because I didn't want to talk about family to other family. It seems like the most plausible cause for my recent crankiness is just because I've let the tiniest of things build up for sooooo long that it is starting to bubble out on top of any little thing it can grab hold of. Maybe I should try to find an outlet where I can vent about these little things before they build up and become so hard to control. I don't want to use a journal because I would hate for someones feelings to get hurt if they found it and read it. I can't do it on the blog because some of my family reads it. Any ideas? Who wants to meet me for coffee every Wednesday at 4:00 so I can get each week of my chest?

In Memory Of Grandpa

This is the song Grandma requested be played. It's one that her and Grandpa always loved.

"Beyond The Sunset" by Hank Williams

Should you go first and I remain to walk the road alone
I'll live in mem'ry's garden dear with happy days we've known
In spring I'll wait for roses red when fades the lilacs blue
And in early fall when brown leaves call I'll catch a glimpse of you
Should you go first and I remain for battles to be fought
Each thing you've touched along the way will be a hallowed spot
I'll hear your voice I'll see your smile though blindly I may grope
The mem'ry of your helping hand will buoy me on with hope
Beyond the sunset oh blissful morning when with our Saviour heaven is begun
Earth's toiling ended oh glorious dawning beyond the sunset when day is done

Should you go first and I remain to finish with the scroll
No less than shadows shall ever creep in to make this life seem droll
We've known so much of happiness we've had our cup of joy
And memory is one gift of God that death cannot destroy
I want to know each step you take that I may walk the same
For someday down that lonely road you'll hear me call your name
Should you go first and I remain one thing I'll have you do
Walk slowly down that long long path for soon I'll follow you
In that fair homeland we'll know no parting beyond the sunset for evermore

Rude People: My Fault Or Theirs?

Yesterday, I stopped into a convenience store for the sole purpose of getting myself a fountain drink. I specify that so you will be able to picture me walking into the store and heading straight over to the soda fountain. No pauses, no distractions. Straight to the soda fountain. I didn't even pause to gaze longingly at the donuts. Seriously. I'm very proud of myself.

Once I arrived directly in front of the machine I did pause for a few seconds to make sure they have Diet Pepsi and to decide how monsterous I want my cup to be. Keep in mind that I was NOT standing with my belly pushed up against the counter. I was actually about an arm's length away. I find it's easier to manuever that way. Maybe I'm crazy. If I were bellied up too close I would have to lean back just to get the cup filled up.

Can you see me there? Just getting ready to reach out and grab a cup? Now picture a big, sweaty, unattractive man wearing a bandanna headband and a muscle shirt suddenly appear next to me. Before I even registered he was there, he was between me and the soda fountain and was filling a cup. Never looked towards me or acknowledged my existance in any way. And when he was finished getting his drink he just stepped away and was gone. This is the sort of thing that happens to me all the time. In fact, after I finally got my own soda and paid for it I was following a couple of blokes out the door and they didn't even hold it open and make sure I cleared it. Just let it slam against me as I was halfway out.

I've always just kind of shook my head and wondered why I inevitabley seem to find the rude people. But I'm starting to think it's my fault as much as theirs. I just seem to be one of those people who blend in with my surroundings and don't really stand out for any reason. Maybe the sweaty guy wasn't being rude and cutting in front of me yesterday. Maybe he didn't notice me. I never speak up for myself. It might have made a difference if I would have said "excuse me sir, I was here first". Although who really says things like that? Honestly. I mean, I know there are people who will speak up. But about something so petty as getting a fountain drink? Doubtful. Except for the assholes of the world, of course. But my point is, I do try to stay out of peoples ways and I am a very quiet person. I'm always mindful of politeness and manners and I make sure and avoid any type of confrontation. I know I am very easy to overlook because even my own mother talks over my every sentence, as if she isn't even aware I'm speaking at all. It's been happening my whole life. So is it my fault? Do I need to wear obnoxiously bright colors and START SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS? Or are there just way too many rude people in the world?

Poetry

I absolutely love reading poetry, although I admit it's a habit I seem to have strayed away from and do not devote enough time to anymore. For that matter, reading in general has slowed down for me. Referring to reading books, of course. I certainly spend a lot of time reading the internet, I just don't think that has the same quality. Either way, thanks to Amy's post I now have poetry stuck in my head and I thought I would share with you what 3 of my favorite poems are.

"The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe. It's too long to post here in it's entirety.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this, and nothing more."


"Trees" by Alfred Joyce Kilmer.

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.


And last, but not least - a poem by Stephen Crane that no one seems to know the exact title of. Apparently it came from a collection called "The Black Riders and Other Lines". Some people (including me) call this one "The Heart" while others call it "In The Desert". No matter the title, it somehow speaks to me very powerfully.

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter -- bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

CATS & A Kitten

Seeing the production of CATS this week at HammonsHall was such an amazing experience. It was 100 times better than I ever imagined it would be. Rum Tum Tugger was my favorite character, followed closely by Mr. Mistoffelees. This was my first time ever seeing a live performance of a Broadway production and I can tell you right now that it's a darn good thing I don't live in New York because I would spend all of money going to the theater. I seriously can't even find any words to describe how awesome the whole thing was. Now I'm going to have to be better at budgeting my money because I will definitely be getting tickets for a lot more of these types of events.

The only thing that was disappointing about the night was that photographs of any kind were not allowed. I totally expected no flash photography since that distracts everyone, but it shocked me when they announced that no photos were allowed at all. I had really been hoping to get some good shots to brag about. The next day I did come across someone who had blindly snapped a few pics and ended up with one that shows a bit of the cast. I will post it here, but keep in mind that it was not I who took an illegal photo, just happen to know the person who did.



As an extra bonus, when I got home that night I got to meet the brand new kitten that Scott brought home. She is so tiny and precious. Her name is Miyuki (pronounced me-you-key) which is Japanese for "deep snow". I love everything about her but I especially love that she has 2 different colored eyes. One blue and one green. Here's a picture showing the eye color. She's still really timid right now because she's in a new home and she's so young. But once she warms up to us a bit I will be able to get a lot more pictures.

Time Keeps On Ticking

No one likes it, but it is inevitable - we all get older every second of every day. It sucks. Sucks to realize how old you yourself have gotten. Sucks even more to see the people around you deteriorate. I have 3 sets of grandparents and for the most part they have all been in fairly good health. I do have one grandpa who's been in a nursing home for about a year because of back and hip issues. Grandpa Henderson falls too easily and he lived alone, so he decided the nursing home would be the best place for him to be. My Grandma and Grandpa Rose seem to be hanging in there okay. Grandma has health issues: she's diabetic, unstable on her feet and prone to falling, recently suffered a heart attack that left no permanent damage. But Grandpa is able to take care of her and they live next door to my parents, so they are in good shape.

But they all just keep getting older. Now my Grandma Henderson is unable to get herself around and can't keep her medicines straight. My parents have to stop by twice a day to dispense her pills to her and make sure they witness her taking them. They've been talking with my Aunt about finding a nursing home for her. She's no longer able to live alone.

And yesterday I received news that my Grandpa Beeson was being taken to the hospital again. He suffered a major stroke 2 years ago that really affected him and his health has gotten increasingly worse since then. Now they've found a slight bit of congestive heart failure. With that diagnosis and all the other health issues he's been having, the doctors have suggested that he be admitted into a nursing home. He is simply requiring too much care for Grandma to continue taking care of him. They admitted him into the hospital for 3 days, but during that time a decision has to be made about where to locate him when he's released.

I never have wanted to get old. I've always been afraid of being old and alone. I don't want my family to see me crippled up and feeble minded. It's not fair that one day someone will be sitting in a hospital waiting room faced with making the decision about whether I get to go home or not. It's a horrible decision. Who's going to be upset the most? Who's going to be the most burdened by it? It sucks. But time doesn't care, time keeps on ticking.

Shakespeare In The Park

A new co-worker recently hired at my office has turned out to be just what I needed when it comes to experiencing some culture. Not only do we get along really well, but she is interested in going to the same types of events that I am. On June 5th, A.J. and I went to Jordan Valley Park and enjoyed one of the free showings of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". It was my first time visiting the park and was also the first time I've gotten to enjoy any type of theater presentation since moving to Springfield. We had a great time. The show was fabulous. In fact, a few days later A.J. and I ordered tickets for the opening night of "Cats" which is coming to Springfield for a 2-night showing on June 24th & 25th. I am so excited. I'm hoping I get some great pictures and I promise I will post them here.

Until then, here's some pics from the Shakespeare Festival:

Hulk Hogan Sighting!

I was at a 1st grade boys summer baseball game this past weekend in Washburn, Missouri and was shocked to see that Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea was watching the same game. The Hulkster loves his baseball.




P.S. - this is not really Hulk Hogan.

Yep, You've Heard It All Before

I'm going to start blogging again. But this time I'm even more devoted than last time. Primarily because I seem to be experiencing an increase in my social life so I should have plenty of new stories and pictures to share with you. And not just the normal, boring "family adventure" pictures. My upcoming adventures include a Shakespeare presentation, the travel version of the Broadway musical "Cats", and possibly a renaissance festival.

In fact, I think I'll throw some new random photos in now.

Recently saw Skillet in concert. They rocked!




I have also been to the Butterfly Palace in Branson, MO

Nosy Neighbors: What Can You Do?

Quick, name the 1 thing that sucks the most about spring and summer.

That's right, mowing the lawn. I know, I know, some people actually enjoy it. But those are probably the people who own fancy riding lawn mowers and don't have anything else to do on the weekends. If you own a push mower and you would rather be playing WoW, them mowing is not fun at all. The atmosphere at my house concerning how the yard looks is fairly relaxed. We like it to look nice and don't want it to be trashy, but at the same time the yard is never going to be mowed twice in one week and will never win the "nice lawn" award. It's just not going to happen.

Right now the grass is roughly 6" high. It hasn't been mowed yet this year and is right on the verge of needing it but doesn't actually look bad yet. The first mow of the year is always the hardest; we try to prolong it as much as possible because once you start you have to continue to mow regularly until the grass dies. But now we have been thrust in the middle of a lawnmowing war.

We have a new neighbor. One of those sweet, innocent-looking old ladies who reminds you of your grandmother and always ends up being hateful and a trouble-maker. She has lived next door approx. 2 months now and in that time she has paid to have a privacy fence installed in the back yard, has paid someone to come in and do landscaping, has planted a row of hedge between her house and ours, etc. She obviously enjoys being outdoors because she is always out in the yard inspecting everything. As expected, her yard has been mowed several times this season already by either a family member or maybe someone she pays. Either way, she does not mow her own yard, it is done for her.

Two weeks ago, I had my first contact with the grandma next door. I had seen her out in the yard on several occasions before, but had never made eye contact or tried to speak to her in any way. On this particular day, I had just pulled into the driveway with Marshall and Dillon (twin nephews) who I had gone to pick up so they could spend the weekend. We got out of the car and she was at the edge of my yard attending to the newly planted hedge. I accidentally made eye contact and she waved. She sweetly said "hello" so I said "hello" back to her. Then her face peeled back to reveal the demon lurking beneath the surface and fire flew from her fingertips as she said "your yard is starting to get a bit high, needs to be mowed". This was 2 weeks ago, trust me it wasn't high enough to be worried about. But because her yard had been trimmed neatly down to a mere 1/4 inch of grass, she expects our yard to be the same so that it pleases her.

Well, because of all the rain and the laziness (and because we were annoyed that this old lady is obviously going to be a pain-in-the-ass) it hasn't been mowed yet. As I said earlier, it's approx. 6" - which is not too tall for a yard. We are nowhere near having a shaggy yard. But I'm afraid we may be headed that way. Last night the doorbell rang, it was the demon lady from next door. She came over to inform us that we need to mow our yard because she saw a snake in the grass and she doesn't believe we want snakes in our house, therefore we need to mow our yard immediately.

Are you kidding me? I highly doubt she saw a snake in our yard, she just wants the damn yard mowed. If she did see a snake it's not because our yard is unruly but because we live in a brand new subdivision that was nothing but fields and woods 18 months ago. But, I don't believe she actually saw anything. She just has nothing better to do than pay someone to keep her yard pretty and then be upset because nobody elses yard looks the same. She's obsessed with our yard and has apparently convinced herself that we are ignorant bastards who have no intention of ever mowing our lawn and so it must be her duty to continue informing us that it needs to be done. Gah!

What she doesn't realize is that by complaining and making an issue out of this, she has shot herself in the foot. Yes we're slow starters when it comes to the first mow of the year, but we do mow. And we like our yard to look nice. But now that it's become an obvious issue for the nosy neighbor next door? Well, somethings got to be done about that. So, help us decide. We cannot refuse to mow the yard, because the city probably has some sort of ordinance that they would eventually ticket us for. We can always just wait a few more weeks before mowing, but she might file an official complaint between now and then and she would think she won. So, what can we do? I'm thinking that we mow the entire yard except for the strip next to her yard. A suggestion last night is that we go out and gather garter snakes to put on her patio and in her yard so that she quits using that excuse. We could accidentally mow down her hedge. Or we could refuse to weedeat around our side of her privacy fence and let the fence get all overgrown. What do you think? Any other ideas?