A Letter Of Apology...To My Roommate

Dear Roommate,
Thank you for allowing me to share your house with you. It's a beautiful house and is not even a year old yet. So fresh. So new looking. With white walls and cream carpet. Unscarred countertops, glistening appliances. I really appreciate how lucky I am to be living there. Everything is so shiny.

But, I'm afraid that will all soon change. I regret to inform you that I will no longer be doing the necessary housework that is required to keep a brand new house looking so...well...new. I realize I never have actually done as much housework as I should have, but I have managed to keep up the appearance of clean. Sadly, that is no longer going to be true.

I'm sorry, dear roommate but your house will no longer get the attention it needs from me. You have no one to blame but yourself - for it was you who introduced me to World of Warcraft. I will no longer be leaving my computer aside from bathroom breaks and occasionally going to work.

Where Have All The Pretty People Gone?

Back in the late 80's & early 90's I was a fan of a little show called American Gladiators. Maybe that makes me a nerd, maybe not. Either way, I even had a favorite gladiator - Zap! She rocked. I always rooted for the contestants until there was an event Zap was involved in, then I wanted her to smash everyone into the ground. She usually did. ESPN Classic has been showing reruns of this series for quite a while now, and watching it just isn't quite the same. You can tell they are old shows and they just don't hold my interest.

So, I was excited to hear that American Gladiators was making a return. And being hosted by the always popular Terry Bollea (Hulk Hogan) and the recently popular Laila Ali (gorgeous & charming daughter of Muhammad Ali) was an added bonus. But just a few minutes into the 2 hour premiere last night, I was already disappointed. These new gladiators...well, some of them are pretty weird. I just didn't care for most of them. The original gladiators looked pretty cheesy, but only because that's the way you were supposed to look in 1990. Let me show you what I mean:

Here's the original group:


Here's a new guy named Wolf - who howls like a wolf rather than speaking


This guys name is Toa - before his event he spouted off a few sentences in some sort of Egyptian sounding language:


Here's one of the girls, Stealth - didn't really do anything weird, she's just not attractive:


Finally, we meet Hellga - the picture speaks for itself:


Now for a group photo:


They aren't even wearing the red, white & blue uniforms that I got so used to seeing. I'm not saying I won't watch it - the competition is still goood. But, I am very disappointed.

Taking The Plunge

After many, many, many, many, many requests from my brother to check out World of Warcraft, I'm finally going to do it. Tonight. Right now. Taking the plunge. I've always been interested in checking the game out, but remained hesitant to actually create an account because, well, because I seem to have a short attention span. Not in an ADD type of way, it's just that I have always been a "jack of all trades, master of none". I always become extremely interested in a subject and will devote a week or two of complete focus on it and then one random day my mind will suddenly say "Hey, I love cross stitch" and BOOM - just like that my previous addiction will be gone and I will spend the next 2 weeks cross stitching my little heart out.
Sprinkle and repeat.

But I seem to be in between obsessions at the moment, and Scott provided me with a 14 day free trial of the game. So, since that should be just about the right length of time for me to completely obsess about it and then completely get over it, I decided I might as well just do it. Here goes nothing.

Something Must Be Wrong With Me

Earlier today I was joking around with one of my friends that something must be wrong with me because while I was perusing the internet I stumbled across a page that had some crafty type stuff on it and I was immediately hit with the strong desire to buy a sewing machine and make myself some pillows. We laughed heartily for several minutes about that one, cause we both know I'm not a very girly girl. However, a few short hours later and I'm sitting here thinking about how I can rearrange the spare bedroom and setup a table where I can make notecards and paint things. HELP!

Happy New Year

Well, it's 2008. Another. Year. Wasted. Seriously need to step up my game and actually put this new year to good use. I've been nagging myself lately to stop being an asshole, maybe it's time to actually do it. Of course, I'm not an asshole in the common sense of the word, but I feel like I'm an asshole and my opinion of me should count for something.

Why do I feel this way about myself? Because I'm the one who hears all the grumbling behind the scenes. You know, like when I decide that I'm going to do something nice and then afterwards find myself grumbling internally about how much stupid work it was. Ri-dic-ulous! I decided to do it, if I hadn't done it no one would have ever even known. So, am I mad at myself? That's stupid.

Here's another example: I enjoy my job, I specifically chose to work where I do, I get paid really well and work for an extremely awesome boss - yet I find myself having conversations with my coworkers about how much this place sucks. Bullshit! This place is awesome. Do I have stressful days? Sure. Does the company make decisions that affect me without asking my opinion? Absolutely. Do I sometimes get off the phone and want to pull my hair out? Yes. Would I rather work somewhere, anywhere, else? HELL NO! Then there's no point in me complaining is there? Instead of falling in line with the negativity that surrounds me at work, I should start trying to infect them with a positive attitude. Then maybe we could all have fun at work like we used to.

Also, I suck! I'm so worried about everyone else that I ignore my wants and needs. And I'm completely indecisive as a result. Let's say I am shopping with a friend and it's time for lunch. "Where do you think we should eat?" she asks. Simple enough question, right? Wrong! Instead of saying "I would like to eat at ______" (depends on what I'm craving that day & how long it's been since I've gone out to eat), I say "I don't care, wherever you want to" and end up sucking down soggy shrimp at Captain D's. Keep in mind, this is just an example. Doesn't seem to be a very good one, either - but it's all I could come up with. My point is, I refuse to make a decision if I believe someone else may not care for it. Which forces that person to make the decision and a lot of times, I don't care for it. So, that has to stop. It's not like a hang out with complete buttheads (anymore). If I would be assertive and make a choice every once in a while, they would go along with it the same way I go along with their choices. And I'm not just talking about deciding where to eat lunch. I try to choose what I think other people want in everything I do. I worry if they like what my hair looks like. I worry if they like the kind of music that I'm listening to. I worry if they think I'm talking too much, or if they think I'm not talking enough. I worry that they won't like me once we're actually hanging out. Or I worry that friends I've had for years will suddenly realize they don't like me.

I'm paranoid. I'm fat and I'm paranoid because of it. One day, several years ago, I was walking alongside a path with a couple of friends when a car drove by and some young guy leaned out the window and hollered something. I was immediately humiliated because I clearly heard him say "it's not working, fatso". I was very upset and my friends could see something was wrong with me. Carol asked me what was the matter. "Didn't you just hear that guy who drove by?", I asked her. "Yeah," she said, "that was one of my son's friends who hollered at me to get back to work. He drives by here every day on his way home." I'm still convinced he was making fun of me. That's what I expect from people. Even while pumping gas I wonder how many people are driving by and laughing at my fat ass. The worst thing by far is buying food, ordering food, eating food. Anything to do with food. I can just imagine all the people walking by saying "look at that fat ass with all that food." In reality, I know that I'm not important enough for everyone to spend their time thinking about me. I'm certainly not the center of attention for anyone, much less everyone. But my mind sure does trick itself into thinking everyone is grossed out by me. Trust me when I say that's not a fun way to go through life. Makes me feel like an asshole that I'm torturing myself this way.

I never expect people to like me. Which means I rarely give them a chance to get to know me. Why waste their time and mine? As a result, I don't really meet many people. Hmm...weird how that works, isn't it? It doesn't normally bother me too bad because I spend a lot of time with my siblings and cousins and we truly enjoy each other and have a total blast. But I'm starting to get old and I obviously can't fall in love, get married and have babies if I spend every weekend playing Trivial Pursuit at grandma's house. So, I've got to get out there and meet people. Somehow. If only I could figure out how to like myself long enough to let someone else like me too. That would be quite a trick, wouldn't it? Man, I'm such an asshole.

You may wonder why I'm bringing all of this up. I'm not exactly sure. I just know I want to make myself a better person and I'm kind of hoping that publicly admitting some of my faults will embarass me into changing them. I started the day determined that I was going to make a post which actually stated my weight, because I am now working on fixing that issue also. But, I just can't bring myself to post that yet. I want to so that it's out there in black & white, staring me in the face, making me accountable. But, I'm just too embarassed about the number. It sucks, because if I don't post it and then tell you in 2 weeks that I've lost 10 pounds, it won't have as big an impact as it would if you knew my starting weight. Any advice?

Here's A Morbid Article...And Yet Refreshing ??

Eco-friendly burial gaining popularity
Sarah Skidmore
The Associated Press

Portland, Ore. — Cynthia Beal wants to be an Oregon cherry tree after she dies. She has everything to make it happen — a body, a burial site and a biodegradable coffin.
"It is composting at its best," said Beal, owner of The Natural Burial Company, which will sell a variety of eco-friendly burial products when it opens in January, including the Ecopod, a kayak-shaped coffin made out of recycled newspapers.

Biodegradable coffins are part of a larger trend toward "natural" burials, which require no formaldehyde embalming, cement vaults, chemical lawn treatments or laminated caskets. Advocates say such burials are less damaging to the environment.

Cremation was long considered more environmentally friendly than burials in graveyards, but its use of fossil fuels has raised concerns.

Eco-friendly burials have been popular in Britain for years, but industry experts say it's starting to catch on in the U.S., where "green" cemeteries hosting natural burials have sprouted up in California, Florida, New York, South Carolina and Texas.

The majority of eco-friendly burial products come from overseas — including the Ecopod, which is made in the United Kingdom — although there are a few domestic makers. Options range from natural-fiber shrouds to fair-trade bamboo caskets lined with unbleached cotton. There are also more traditional-looking handcrafted coffins made of wood certified by the Forest Stewardship Council.

The market is potentially huge. U.S. funeral homes generate an estimated $11 billion in revenue annually and that figure is sure to grow as baby boomers age.

There are already specialty funerals, featuring caskets with custom paint jobs and urns with the insignia of a favorite team. Industry experts say eco-friendly funerals are just an extension of such personalized end-of-life planning.

Biodegradable containers cost from around $100 for a basic cardboard box up to more than $3,000 for a handcrafted, hand-painted model.

"It's hard to tell if it's a fad or if it's here to stay," said Bob Fells, of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association. "We are certainly positioning ourselves that if this is what the community wants, we are ready to serve them."

The Green Burial Council is working on certification programs to verify the commitment and quality of providers who say they are going natural.

"What we are trying to do is to make sure this concept doesn't get 'green-washed' down the drain," said Joe Sehee, the council's founder and executive director.

Grandma's Sugar Cookies

My grandma makes the best sugar cookies IN THE WORLD. That's not an opinion, it's simply a fact that has to be stated. Every Christmas season she makes hundreds of these cookies over an approximate 2 week period and we make ourselves sick stuffing them into our faces as fast as we can. She won't share the exact recipe with us yet, but as she has gotten older she is more willing to let everyone help her get the cookies iced and decorated. We let the great-grandkids start out icing some, but they tire of it pretty quickly. So, we take over and the fun begins. We have a standing rule that if you mess up the icing and the cookie gets smeared, you have to eat it immediately. Which of course means several cookies an hour "accidentally" get smeared.

Grandma makes cookies in the shape of stars, christmas trees, stockings, snowmen and gingerbread men but she also has a great sense of humor and likes to mix things up by throwing in random cookie shapes. In the past we have had rabbits, fall leaves, and easter eggs. This year's batch of cookies included cookies in the shape of ice cream cones. Here's a few pictures of some decorated cookies. Too bad you guys can't taste them.

The Daily Coyote

I wanted to bring to your attention my newest blog obsession. It's called The Daily Coyote and details one woman's journey raising an orphaned coyote pup. The coyote's name is Charlie and his best friend is Eli, the cat. The pictures on this website are so beautiful, they might just inspire you to move to Wyoming.

Speaking of my favorite blogs, I should mention that I discovered The Daily Coyote while reading Dooce. Dooce is already listed on the sidebar in my "Favorite Blogs" section and now I have added The Daily Coyote to that section as well.

I Saw Santa Today

He was sitting in the hospital cafeteria when I went upstairs to get some lunch. He was, of course, surrounded by people but I got close enough to notice that he was wearing an official employee id badge that actually said "Santa Claus" and had his picture on it. I know St. John's is a great place to work, but I never dreamed that even Santa was on the payroll.

Speaking of Christmas, it is fast approaching. I only have 1 week left to play this song at full volume. This is David Foster's version of Carol of the Bells. If it sounds familiar, it is the same version they use at Silver Dollar City on the 5 story Christmas tree.

I'm Hoping To Have Snow Ice Cream

I love to see it snow. I know it's inconvenient and makes the roads dangerous, etc., etc. Lots of people would rather it NOT snow. I get it. It's just that it can be so beautiful to see. Especially if the flakes are the big, soft, fluffy ones that fall slowly to the ground. I'm really hoping that's the kind of snow we get tonight and tomorrow. We're obviously going to get something, and I think the pretty, gentle kind of snow would be much better than the slushy, ugly mix of snow and ice.
Plus, if we get the pretty fluffy kind of snow then I can have snow ice cream.

Just in case you've never had the pleasure of eating snow ice cream, here's the recipe:
INGREDIENTS
1 gallon snow
1 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups milk
DIRECTIONS
Gather clean snow in a bowl, stir in sugar and vanilla to taste, then stir in just enough milk for the desired consistency. Serve at once.

Also, I'm hoping to get some good pictures of a winter wonderland. I got some ice storm pictures last winter, but not really any pretty snow pictures. So, here's hoping it snows! (don't hate me for that)

On another note, the beginning of this week started out rough for a lot of folks who had to deal with some major ice. One of my favorite blogs has some great photos of how it affected his hometown of Hutcheson, Kansas. Here's the link for The Lope. After you look at that post, you should actually check out the rest of his blog and even consider bookmarking the page. He's an interesting guy who tell interesting stories and is an amazing photographer.

Either I'm A Beauty Salon Moron, Or

My hair is defective. There simply can be no other explanation. Once again, I have gone in for a trim and came out practically bald. How does this happen? Multiple times?

I can't decide whether my use of the word "trim" is completely wrong, or if maybe my hair has 3x the shrinkability factor of normal hair so that when it's wet they are cutting a normal amount, but then when it dries that amount is multiplied by 3.

It's gotta be one or the other, because not only has this happened multiple times - it has happened at completely different salons with completely different stylists. See, I'm not one of those people who has a regular hairdresser that I keep appointments with and go to exclusively. Instead, I wake up one random day and decide that if my hair doesn't get cut RIGHT NOW then I simply cannot go on living. So, I find the first place that can get me in and go there. But, don't blame this on quick, easy "convenience storeish" salons. I have also been scalped before by someone at a traditional salon who had cut my hair before.

Aaarrgggghhhh! It's so short on the crown of my head that it WONT' EVEN LAY DOWN. Once again, I look like a boy. Somebody tell me what I am doing wrong, or at least how I can prevent this from happening again.

A Return To Action

After being sick for over a week, I was really missing being on the go. I'm normally a pretty active person and I hadn't felt like doing anything for quite a while. So Saturday morning I decided I was feeling better whether my body agreed with me or not. I hopped out of bed and drove down to take Charlie and Jessica to the Seligman Christmas parade.

The kids eagerly anticipated the candy that was going to be thrown:


But my favorite part of any parade is the drums (even if they're out of step):
These guys are from my alma mater- Southwest High School at Washburn


I don't know about other parts of the world, but in the Ozarks we like classic cars:


The kids always like the ponies:


The Lions Club was really cute:


All the candy was starting to make the kids goofy:


But they straightened up just in time for Santa, who was riding a golf cart:

Still Alive & Kicking

Not loving it, but I am doing it. Seems like I am finally on the road to recovery. My ribs are still extremely sore and I still have a lovely sounding cough, but it is becoming more infrequent and less obnoxious. Guess I'm going to pull through after all. I'll be back to smoking and boozing in no time.

Just kidding family. :)

My Doctor Said It's BS

He really did. Bronchitis & Sinusitis. That's what I'm suffering from. Plus, my tonsils are swollen and apparently my inner ear is retaining liquid and is almost swollen shut in both ears. Do I know how to get sick or what?

For a week now I've been launching into horrendous coughing spells at work. Since we are a phone-based helpdesk, my customers and co-workers really appreciate all the loud coughing and gagging. I keep having to run to the bathroom so that I can gag until I puke without disturbing anyone.


As an added bonus, today during a violent attack that led me into the bathroom to puke, I apparently pulled a muscle in my rib cage. Or maybe I actually broke a rib. I'm not sure exactly, but I do know that nothing has ever hurt this bad. Now the simple act of breathing is enough to bring tears to my eyes - and you don't want to be anywhere near me when I have to cough. It seems that extreme pain makes me scream obscenities and then whimper like a baby.

Clean Out Your Closets And Help Others

I found this on OzarksFirst.com and I wanted to share it.

Clothing Drive for Family Violence Center
Date: Nov 26, 2007 (Monday) - Dec 20, 2007 (Thursday)
Time: 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM

Location: Adam and Eve - 1332 E. Republic Road, Ste F & G, Springfield

Event Details: Please bring your clean, gently used items to benefit victims of abuse at the Family Violence Center in Springfield.

This donation drive will run through the first three weeks of December, in time for the holidays. If you would like to donate a gift-type item for someone at the Center, we will also take those to the Family Violence Center in December.

The items must be brought to Adam and Eve - 1332 E. Republic Road, Ste F & G, Springfield. Hours are Monday - Thursday 10am to 10pm. Friday and Saturday till 1030pm. Sunday 5p-10p.

No purchase necessary - we are doing this just to help the Family Violence Center, which assists abuse victims throughout the year. The center is often forgotten during holiday fundraisers. The drop-off runs from November 26 through December 20.

Go Tigers!

I don't normally watch college football, but that doesn't mean I don't root for certain teams. One of my favorite college football teams is USC, another is FSU. And of course, no matter what's going on in my life I manage to completely despise the Arkansas Razorbacks (and that's not just limited to football, I despise them in all areas). But now college football has become exciting to me - here's why.

Squanto

Have you ever heard the name before? Squanto? He was an important dude. I am thankful for Squanto. His real name was Tisquantum and he was a Patuxet Native American Indian. There are many variations of the story of Squanto's life. Some articles claim that as a young teenager Squanto was kidnapped by Englishmen who tried to sell him into slavery. Other information indicates that he simply made friends with some of the white settlers that moved into New Plymouth near his native village and voluntarily followed them to England to spend several years working for his new friends.

Either way, we do know that as a young man he left his tribe, left America and spent years in Europe working for the Englishmen before he finally gained passage back to the "New World" with Captain John Smith (of Pocahontas fame). As he was making his way back to his village, he was kidnapped and sold into slavery in Spain. Luckily, he fell into the hands of a group of friars at a Catholic Monestary. They taught him their religion and he became a Christian. The friars were able to get Squanto passage to England where he spent several years working as a servant.

Squanto was gone an approximate total of 10 years from his family and tribe before he finally arrived in North America again. Sadly, when he returned to his village he discovered that all of his people had died of a disease (accidentally brought to them by the English settlers) the previous year. He then befriended the settlers who lived near his old village. These settlers were the Pilgrims and they soon realized that Squanto was an invaluable friend. He helped them survive the winter by showing them how to build warm houses. He also taught them how and when to plant corn and showed the women how to cook the corn so that there was enough food for everyone. Most importantly, he acted as interpreter between the Pilgrims and their Indian neighbors. He advised them on how best to maintain a peaceful relationship with the Indians and made the first Thanksgiving possible.

After all the "white-man" had done to him and his people, he cared about human life enough to help the Pilgrims. Thank you, Squanto, for caring.

Consumer Alert: Plastic Bag Shortage

Keep all the times you've seen Wal-Mart bags littering the parking lots and highways in mind when you read the following:

This morning I stopped by Wal-Mart on my way to work because a friend who's in the hospital needed a few small items and I volunteered to bring them to her. While I was there I picked up a couple of things that I needed for the house. Of course, all of these items fit easily into one plastic Wal-Mart bag. However, I needed the bag to carry the items for my friend into the hospital. Which would mean that the stuff I purchased for myself would be rolling around my car seat on my ride home tonight. Silly me, I decided to ask the cashier if I could have an extra bag.

She was a fairly young girl and as soon as the words were out of my mouth she began to panic. Oh, the horror! Someone wants to steal a plastic bag from her! She started stuttering while at the same time began swiveling her head from side to side like she was expecting someone to jump on her if she let me out of the store with a stolen bag. She mumbled something about "we're not really supposed to let people take those". It was the strangest thing.

Obviously there is a shortage of Wal-Mart bags!

One Artist, One City, 9 Times

That's what the back of my new t-shirt says. The t-shirt I bought at the Garth Brooks concert I went to last week. That's right, I'm bragging. We had awesome seats, the concert was amazing. I don't listen to much country music but Garth Brooks is the bomb. I've included a few pictures below. If you want to see them all you can click HERE

re·turn (r-tûrn)
noun
1. a. The act or condition of going, coming, bringing, or sending back.
b. The act of bringing or sending something back to a previous place, condition, or owner.

2. a. Something brought or sent back.
b. returns Merchandise returned, as to a retailer by a consumer or to a wholesaler by a retailer.
c. Something that goes or comes back.

3. A recurrence, as of a periodic occasion or event: the return of spring.


That's right homies - I'm back! I apologize to the small number (4 at the most) of people who actually read this blog. I simply haven't felt well at all lately and it has resulted in a complete lack of energy and interest. I also have not played Runescape since before Halloween, so you can't blame my lack of posting on my game addiction. But, I am starting to feel a bit better and I'm hoping that if I start becoming more active again my energy will return. Other than wanting to sleep all the time (and a slight bladder infection) I have not been sick in any way. There's no snot, no headaches, no fevers, no aches and pains. I really don't know why I have been so drained. And no, I have not gone to the doctor. And yes, I realize that I should. It's just that they're such a waste of time and money. Unless I'm seriously ill, of course. Then I would go to the doctor. But I'm not seriously ill. I simply want to sleep 20 out of every 24 hours. No. Big. Deal. Besides, I'm busy pretending to myself that I have energy and I feel better so that my body will be tricked into thinking that it's not tired all the time.